Another hard day...Eli is having his MRI right now, and I am in the CICU area on the computer. I am beginning to wonder how much more of this we are going to have to take, and how much more of this Eli can handle. We gave him a continuous drip of Morphine last night because the rash has gotten much worse, he looks to me almost like a burn victim..his skin is so bright red. I am just trying to keep him from scratching. His fevers continued through the night even with the Tylenol every 4 hours. The doctor said she thinks it may be viral, which means we could have 2 or more weeks of this. Right now his ANC is 56, so that means he has nothing left to fight the virus and it will have to run until his counts come back up. He is having another (the last in induction) round of chemo tomorrow, so that won't happen any time soon. I think John said it this morning when he said it seems as though we are killing him with the meds to make him better. The doctor said she has seen all of these things before, but never in the same child. So, I have come back to my same question of what in the world (or out of this world) is worth my baby suffering so much?

His sodium has dropped which has us concerned and he is not urinating. They are going to catheterize him while he is sedated and empty his bladder, which is risky with his counts being so low but we don't want to risk a bladder or urinary infection. The rash has spread to his parts "down under" making him swell and obviously uncomfortable.

As a mother, I am lost. There is nothing I can do to make him more comfortable. I can only sit there with him and wish and pray...which honestly, doesn't seem to be working. Again, I ask you to keep praying for my precious boy.